Dorthy Victoria Carter

peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you left me on June 7, 2006 I felt my soul leave my body and it went with you. Before that day I never could imagine a day without you simply because you were always there. You were not just my Nana you were my best friend! At your funeral I remember trying to get into the casket with you because if you were going to heaven, then I wanted to go too! They pried my 10 little 8 year old fingers off your casket so the funeral could continue. In my little white dress and white shoes because our family didn’t believe in wearing black to a funeral. From my seat I could still see your lifeless body in the box. This was’t the first funeral I attended but it was the first one where the person I cared so deeply for was in the box which I finally put together that I would never see them again. That I would never get to see your smiling face again, I’d never get another kiss or hug from you! The thing that still kills me untill this very day 11 years later is that I never got to say goodbye. To be able to hold your hand for just a second and say goodbye…that’s all I needed was some closure.

Your absence is forever a empty space in me which I can’t see healing anytime soon. Because the day you died God took the most important person to me away. I screamed and fell into a bout of depression because I couldn’t accept a world where my nana wasn’t there!

I continue to live on for you but…..

THE PAIN OF LOSING YOU STILL EXIST!


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