by Audrey Walls, M.Ed., M.F.A.
As the holidays approach, it can be difficult to know what kind of gift would be best received by those who are grieving during the season. Grief during the holidays is tricky, no matter how long or how recent the loss has been. While sending cards, texts, or thoughtful wishes to the grieving folks in your life are always welcome, the holiday season can bring extra impact in feeling that the rest of the world is happy and joyful, but they are left behind.
Knowing this, we went to the experts for their suggestions. We asked our four program managers – members of our clinical team responsible for intake and coordination of our Suicide Loss, Perinatal Loss, Overdose Loss, and Widow, Widower and Partner Loss groups – what their go-to gift ideas were for those who are grieving.
Karen Coyner, LCSW, DCSW – Widow, Widower, and Partner Loss
“Eating alone and going out alone is a big barrier to a grieving spouse or significant other,” Karen states. “For a widowed person, I would recommend a homemade gift certificate for a meal out to the grieving person’s restaurant of choice,” she adds.
When suggesting a restaurant, it’s important to consider the memories linked to the location. Maybe choose a favorite restaurant of yours or theirs, or a new restaurant they would be excited to try. Unless the griever says otherwise, maybe find a place that does not have associated memories to their spouse or partner.
Is your griever not a food person? Not a problem – another idea could be to take them to a movie or a theatre performance they might enjoy instead.
Jess Hoy, MSW – Perinatal Loss
“I tend to recommend cozy, homey gifts to give folks grieving during the holidays. Items and foods that bring comfort, warmth, and one less thing on the to-do list,” suggests Jess.
Her favorites include gift cards to restaurants – like Goatocado, with delicious mac n’ cheese and ramen bowls that are great to-go comfort food.
Or a subscription to Tea of the Month club from CaryTown Teas – a service that ships three new teas to your person every month. (“ A fun little pick-me-up that also brings relaxation and antioxidants,” Jess adds.)
Also consider a thoughtful book, like The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. “Joan Didion is dark, witty, and speaks so well to the ‘magical’ thoughts of changing the past that grief often elicits. Every single time it makes me cry and boy, does it make me laugh,” Jess adds. You can buy it from Shelf Life Books to support local business!
Karen Kennedy, MSW – Suicide Loss
Karen suggests wind chimes in memory of a loved one. Wind chimes make a thoughtful gift, allowing for a moment of remembrance in daily life. While they can be made of several different kinds of materials, or have specific tones or songs associated, they can also be personalized with a loved one’s name or special message depending on the gift.
Laura McDonald, LCSW – Overdose and Substance Use-Related Loss
Laura recommends steam eye masks for a moment of self-care. “They are incredibly soothing and comforting,” Laura adds, “They are great for an afternoon eye rest or to snuggle down with at night!”
For some additional comfort, Laura also suggests aromatherapy nasal clips, which provide a delightful sensory treat and sinus support in the colder, drier months of the year. “Used in some massage therapy centers, the aromatherapy is relaxing and calming anytime of day,” Laura states. They can also be used at bedtime for relaxed and peaceful sleep. “They are also great after some well deserved cry time, and they make life a little softer,” she adds.
Full Circle Grief Center 