by Karen Coyner, LCSW, DCSW and Audrey Walls, M.Ed., M.F.A.
Join Full Circle’s Karen Coyner in the video above as she provides fun and thoughtful instructions for creating an “always-with-me” box. This is an easy, no-stress remembrance activity that’s appropriate for kids and adults of all ages.
As we head into the summer, holidays and vacations can bring up memories of our loved ones who have passed away and also bring up a strong desire to bring that person into the present with our friends and family. With this craft activity, you can do both.
An “always-with-me” box is a particularly good fit for younger family members who maybe did not get a chance to know your loved one very well before they passed, or for groups who have new members added into the fold who have heard stories about the loved one who has passed, but also did not get to spend much time with them. This helps new people who are joining your family or inner circle get to know this important person more and may help them understand your grief a little bit more.
You’ll Need:
- 2-3 inch wooden box or container or a small drawstring canvas bag (can be found at craft stores or online)
- Paint pens or acrylic paint
- Markers (Sharpies, etc.)
- Index cards
- Scissors
- A pen or pencil
Get Started:
- Paint, write, or decorate each side of your wooden box, container or canvas bag
- These can be pictures, designs, words or even just colors that remind you of your person
- Make sure each side of your box or bag is thoroughly dried before moving on to a new side
- Paint and paint pens can take a little longer than markers or Sharpies
- Think up some prompts for questions or thoughts about your loved one that you’d like to ask about your upcoming trip or vacation
- Write these down on index cards, cut in half for easy sizing
- Place your questions inside your box, container, or bag
- Bring your container with you on your next trip or family gathering
Activity Ideas:
- Bring your always with us box or bag with you on vacation, or bring it out for a staycation or other special time when friends and family have gathered
- Use the box or bag as a way to prompt discussions or memories, having one person draw a question and letting others answer
- Ask others to add in questions they would want to ask along the way, so that new questions and memories are always in rotation
- For example: “What would our person order at the ice cream shop we went to yesterday?” or “Which roller coaster do you think our person would like most?”
Sample Questions:
- What would our person want to do while we are here? What would they do at the beach?
- How would our person’s golf game be? What hike would they like the most?
- What ice cream would our person have chosen at the shop? What game would they most like to play?
- When it’s our person’s turn to choose, where would they want to go to dinner? What would they like the most about this trip/occasion?
- What would they like the least about this trip/occasion? How would they spend their quiet time?
- What side trip would our person want to do? What souvenir would they choose?
- What silly thing would our person have done today?
- Share a memory of them on a regular, routine day.
- What would our person want to do tomorrow?